Quiet is the one deep in thought
Their mind races about
No peace to be found within
For they feel stuck with a pin
Unable to find some light
Blinded by their plight
So, do not reminisce
That peace is silence.
Author: KC J. Hutchins
A Change of System
Hey everyone! My apologies for not posting in a while. A lot happened in those months, but I believe I’ve got a plan in motion. Currently, I’m studying SEO to better understand the language of search engines. What’s SEO? It stands for Search Engine Optimization… which basically helps me understand how to set up my site and online presence so more people can see my stuff. That being said, this particular page will change… hopefully for the better!
With this new commitment in mind, I’m learning a bit of graphic design and looking to buy some new equipment if money comes around to finance this endeavor. That last part isn’t much of a guarantee at the moment, but anything can happen. I’m trying to stay more positive and look ahead so I can grab my future. I’m blessed with the gifts I’m given in this life so far… and I want to hold onto them. To work hard to become a creator whose works bring smiles and enjoyment to others… for them to escape to other worlds and find relief in life… to make my family proud… that’s my aim. But beyond even that… I’m doing it for myself. My self-esteem is very low, and it’s of my own doing. Every day I ridicule myself for not getting farther in my career and life… when in reality I need to stop this behavior. All it does is set me in a bad cycle where I don’t try to get out of it because I don’t think I’m worth it. But that ends today. With these new steps taken forward, I will forge my own path to success. It’s not the easy way… but it will be my way. I thank you for supporting me thus far… and I you’re about to see a much better version of me.
Not So Convenient Taste
As I get older, I’m finding myself in quite the weird predicament. Easy food no longer tastes very good. More and more I find myself wanting to make things from scratch. Maybe it’s because of how food is made now or I’m too much of a miser. Who knows? What I can say is it does open the opportunity to widen my skill set at the same time and save some money on my wallet. Here’s what I found so far:
-A bag of frozen fries is equal to about two to four potatoes. This was an insane eye opener especially since this is easy enough to do! A cup of vegetable oil, cut the potatoes, fry them in the pot, place on a plate with paper towel (For them to dry), salt, and there it is. Quicker or about the same time as a frozen bag of fries in the oven. Not to mention much cheaper to buy a bag of potatoes and vegetable which is used in multiple other recipes.
-We all forget how easy lemonade is to make. Little bit of lemon juice, water, and sugar and away you go! All of these you can use in other recipes as well.
-Chex Mix is suuuuuuuper expensive now. However, I can’t say making it from scratch is less pricey, but it does make bigger batches. There are plenty of recipes to go by so I encourage you to check them out!
That’s it really so far. I mean I got a few more I’m working on but not too much to tell. Hope this helps everyone to save some extra cash and enjoy more home cooked food. Thanks for reading!
Yearbook Find
Today, I found myself looking at some old yearbooks. At first, it was a distraction from the scrapbooking projects I’ve put off for a while. Looking through the pictures I realized how camera shy my younger self was to the class. It was to the point I was feeling like an outsider to my class. That was until I got to the very end of the album. In my mind, I thought most were avoiding me at the end, but it came to a surprise when I saw all the notes and letters written to me. Complimenting me on my talent, but also another feature of mine I thought was lost at that time. Line after line I read as others thought of me as caring and watching over them like a big brother. Thinking of others before myself, to the point they encouraged me to start taking care of myself. It’s funny how we view ourselves differently as time goes by… I was quite certain most people thought of me as a bother and spewing complaints. It was refreshing to see others thought so highly of me at one point. So, I encourage you to take a step back and find the positive in yourself… and in the event you cannot find it… ask a friend or loved one to show you the way.
Back to Recovery
Hey everyone. Thank you so much for your continued support. I apologize for the delay in posting. I find myself stretched thin across multiple platforms; something I must learn to juggling with my daily life. But enough excuses of such matters, this was not the reason I wanted to post.
So, over the past couple years, I’ve struggled with a bit of a health problem. That problem… well wasn’t quite clear. At first, I was told it was growing pains. Complaining and growling for two years, the doctor was only interested in the issue when my knee was (at least) twice the size of my normal state. It was no surprise to me and the second doctor consulted when Lyme Disease was found from the liquids drained from it. After going through an aggressive form of treatment, the main part of the infection was gone. Unfortunately, Lyme Disease is a chronic condition if not caught early enough. Yet, I was growing accustomed to the pain… or so I thought. It came to my attention that my left knee had a bad stabbing pain every time I took a step. Back to the doctors again with arguments until they found a tear in my meniscus. One removal later and it feels much better to walk… or so I thought. For now, pain was going throughout my body and causing me to fall like I was in my elder years. And so this was for many of years.
But why am I telling you something so depressing? Well, recently through encouragement from those around me and my own annoyance of my situation, I’ve decided to take one more try at it. However, this time we were taking a different direction by not going the traditional way. I was highly skeptical of whether it would work or not as we went through the process. The voices of those past doctors in my head…
“It’s all in your head.”
“We need more tests.”
“You seem healthy as a horse.”
“Are you sure it isn’t your anxiety?”
“Just take a couple of these and you’ll be fine.”
“Have your tried Ibuprofen?”
Very little hope was in my heart or mind that I find any relief… then came just one appointment to change that. Two x-rays showed results proving I wasn’t crazy. My neck and back were screwed up to an absurd degree. This doctor warned me the process would be slow, but there should be a good amount of relief. Still, I wasn’t expecting anything from this first adjustment. A few touches here and rubs there while I laid there with growling and grunting. They were done and a slowly rose back to my feet, and honestly… I felt ten times lighter. I could bounce like a cloud across the skies. The gravity around me which felt like a backpack of bricks upon my back was lifted. Finally… finally I am starting to feel like myself again. My mind is clear, hunger back, my senses no longer dulled, and energy I thought I’d lost. I got so excited today with the relief I ended up pushing my back too far. There’s no illusion this process is just beginning… but I am excited where the results will lead. Who knows? I might be able to kayak and indoor rock climb again.
The strange (sad might be the better word) part of my story… this isn’t uncommon. I know many who suffer with pain just as I do. To them I encourage you to keep fighting. My fight I almost lost due to the weight of it. So many times, I’ve wanted to give up and retire in pity and seclusion. However, I was lucky enough to have someone continue to push me, and in turn, someone I wanted to get better for. This is the first steps I’m taking to finally become the person who I’m meant to become. So, stand on your two feet and continue to move forward. Don’t let others who don’t have your best interests dictate the path you walk. Instead, carve your own path to the goal you see before you and hold hands with those who truly watch your back.
