Tag: Family Storytime

About the Author, Story Time

Family Storytime: Mom The Eye Roller

KC J. Hutchins

            Many moons have passed since last I wrote on my own blog. You may notice I started to post TikTok videos on here. Now, while that is all good fun, I must remain true to my roots, which means more stories! Thank you for your patience and without further ado…

            My mother noticed my string of stories a while ago. Giggling at how my brother and cousin received their titles in my phone. However, she soon came to the realization she might be next. I brushed it off at the time saying I was absorbed in writing and marketing at the moment…

            So, my family loves to play games. The favorite of my late grandfather were card games. At least once a week, we’d come together to go a few rounds. One such evening we were gathered around. Smiling and enjoying one’s company until we heard that familiar tone from my grandmother. She’d come up with a new task to add to the never-ending list of hers. Now, try to understand my mom worked full to overtime in a sucky company as the head of a department. Only keeping the job to support not only us, but our grandparents who lived with us. As it was, we took care of some of their basic needs to run a home. Meaning stuff like moving pellets, mowing the yard, shoveling driveway, etc. The usual around the house stuff which those in older years couldn’t do well anymore. This gave very little time for my mother to find rest.

            Now, my mother possesses this ability to be unbelievably kind and professional to everyone she meets. This follows through with her conversations with people who might not deserve it. This is an amazing part of her personality although can hinder her own happiness, but I digress. However, there is a crack in this armor of hers. When she is very annoyed or upset, her eyes will roll.

            The biggest of these occurred at the very moment my grandmother requested her ridiculous task. (What this was I couldn’t tell you. Vaguely, I’d say moving everything in and out of several closets to organize and clean them during the work week.) Wind came off those eyes from the speed.

My grandmother responded thusly, “I hate when you do that.”

“Do what?” Responded my mother.

With a huff, she shot back, “Roll your eyes. It’s very annoying.”

My mother took a moment. Looking around the room with a face like a child found with a hand in the cookie jar.

“… You can see that?”

Silence fell over that room so quick before laughter broke it. We all let her know between giggles the important information.

Her only response was, “Oh.” Before settling back down to play the game.

This moment of levity seemed to settle my grandmother down, and consequently made her forget about the little task.

Thus, my mother was known as The Eye Roller.

Story Time

Family Storytime: Naked Cheeseburger Boy and Root Beer Snot

KC J. Hutchins

Back in the years of elementary school, my family used to go to fast food more often. You know, back when it was cheaper. To age myself, when there were actually items costing only a dollar. While hanging with my cousin, best friend, maybe my brother, and other childhood friends, my dad offered to take us there. We drive up to the menu and my dad turns back to ask what we want. Completely serious, my best friend asked for a cheeseburger without cheese. We started cracking up.
I say between laughs, “You mean a hamburger?”
My friend looked at me, then my dad, and simply said, “Yes.”
He realized what he’d said and was just trying to smooth it over.

Fast forward to sitting down and eating our stuff. My best friend starts making fun of some of our friend’s meals. I suspect to make his little incident less silly.
My dad shot back, Sure, Naked Cheeseburger Boy.”
We all lost ourselves in laughter… my cousin so much so his root beer came shooting out of his nose.
My dad turned on him and declared, “And Root Beer Snot is here to join you.”
We were all on the ground from the laughter. He gave names to the others, but I don’t remember them. (No, I didn’t get one. I was boring as a kid and only ordered chicken nuggets and French fries.) However, the legend of Naked Cheeseburger Boy and Root Beer Snot live on… the story surfacing every so often to give us a laugh.

About the Author, Story Time

Family Storytime: Cousin’s Crunchy Chicken Tenders

KC J. Hutchins

Hanging around my family during the past holiday gave me another story. This was given to me by my cousin. As I’ve mentioned before, the town I grew up in hosted a midway during the 4th of July. This would include food trucks. So, as we were walking around my cousin became hungry. We joined him in line for the truck. I think we were the second or third in line at the time. He placed his order, and they said it be like a ten-minute wait. Shrugging, we stood by him to receive the food. The time comes and goes… no tenders. We wait another ten minutes… Still nothing. My cousin goes to check in… They say another ten minutes. Almost everyone else in the line received their food, including someone who ordered chicken tenders behind us. We complained about this to the staff who stated it must’ve been a mistake. We shook our heads and tried to reason with my cousin. At this point, we urged him to demand a refund. However, he pointed out we waited this long already. We shrugged and continued talking.

Now, one of my friends possessed a habit of talking with his hands. In the middle of his story the truck finally announces the food is done while saying it was the last order of the night. My cousin picked up the food, turned around, and his food was immediately struck out of his hands. My friend whacked the tenders by accident. He looked at his hands, down at the ground, back at my cousin, and booked it. My cousin just looked at the ground and let out a long sigh. He picked the food up to dispose of in the trash. Before throwing them out, two old men said they’d eat them. My cousin came to the conclusion if they’d eat them… He should eat them. To this day, he calls them the crunchiest chicken tenders he’s ever eaten.

About the Author, Story Time

Family Storytime: Defending the Pedestal

KC J. Hutchins

While growing up, our town would celebrate the 4th of July in grand style. A pancake breakfast, parade, fireworks, and an exciting midway. There were a few inflatable attractions to partake. A basketball dunking contest where we connected to military recruits by bungee cord. After beating one of them, I was offered to a spot to join them which I politely declined. Next was another bungee one. Two people start attached to them with vests and they run as fast/strong as possible to place a beanie at the end of a Velcro track. Now these two were fun, but nothing beat the last one. An inflatable small arena was set up with two pedestal/platforms. Each person received a helmet and a cushioned staff to knock their opponents off.

Now, back then I was quite physically fit and still keeping up with my karate. These two factors made a marathon of others trying to defeat me. To the point where people paid me to rumble with them. Of course, I couldn’t employ the same strategies over and over again… That would be predictable and easy to counter. This led to an epic few matches since I didn’t want them to predict anything. One of my first moments, was a bout where the match wasn’t going anywhere. There needed to be a change to upset the rhythm of the fight. So, I jumped on the other person’s pedestal and pushed them off. They were sooooo annoyed and surprised by the move while trying to get the ref to side with them. However, the rule was just to stay on a pedestal and knock your opponent off. The next one was hilarious. I’d gone a few rounds with the same opponent who was annoyed at how I kept winning. They finally managed to get the staff out of my hand. I smirked at him as he tried to bat me off with a hard swing. The problem was when someone goes for a heavy attack, it was quite easy to counter it. Watching the path, I grabbed the staff on impact and pulled my opponent off the pedestal. They were shocked but gave me a high five for the tactic. At one point, I was getting really tired from the constant matches one after another. So, as they were preparing to steady themselves at the beginning of the bout, I threw the staff and knocked them off because they tried to catch it instead of blocking it. I’m very unsure what their mindset was at that moment. Made me laugh a bit too as I helped them up. However, all of these paled in comparison to my favorite moment in the ring. Her I was facing off with one of my friends. We’d done this a couple times now, and he improved after each one. So much so, he blocked every strike I gave him as I did the same. Finally, I saw an opening as our two strikes met. I slid my hand down his weapon and grabbed one of the handles. In an effort to stay on, he let go of his staff and just looked at me. I gave them a twirl as I readied myself to strike again. However, he looked at me, their hands, back at me, then jumped off the pedestal themselves. I laughed so hard I needed to sit down… Such fun times back in the day. For the record, I was undefeated.

About the Author, Story Time

Family Storytime: A Clown’s History

KC J. Hutchins

Fun fact. Did you know as a kid I debated on joining the circus and becoming a clown? No joke. I even learned how to do card tricks and make balloon animals. Why was did I want this? I was intrigued from my own family history. Turns out I came from a line of circus clowns from my grandfather’s side. They specialized in unicycle acts which amused the crowd with their antics. I learned this history when I was asked if I wanted to join a visiting circus. The ringmaster knew my grandfather and knew of my interest. I, being young, declined the offer at the time since I wanted to finish school with my friends. (What a silly decision in hindsight… so much opportunity for my future. Then again…) When I returned to my seat, I asked my grandfather why we weren’t part of it anymore. He pointed at the high wire and shook his head. In his strange way, he told me he was afraid of heights… this was shared by his children. I shook my head at the twist of fate. After all I was already known as a clown… might as well made it official.