Tag: funny

About the Author, Story Time

School Storytime: Bear Skin

KC J. Hutchins

While in high school, I was in the Gateway Club. This was a group which possessed its own room with a teacher. It was a place for those who did well in school to focus on studies or work on extracurricular activities. Very helpful since they geared up with computers. This particular day I needed them for a project. I don’t quite remember what it was… something about designing a room for a character, I think? Either way, I thought a bear skin rug would be appropriate. So, I typed it into the search engine then looked at the images. I looked at the screen, back up at the search bar, and blinked twice. On the screen were several naked women along with some bear skin rugs.

Stunned, I stammered, “I think there’s a cyber problem.”
The Gateway teacher gasped and exclaimed, “KC! That’s not appropriate!”
“It’s not what it looks like! Just look at the search bar!”
She looked at the location and then laughed hardily and replied, “Oh, yeah that is a problem. I’ll let the IT person know right away.”
“And while you do that, I’ll get the picture I need and shut it down.”

She nodded while heading next door. I grabbed my picture and shut the search down. A long breath came out as I looked up at the ceiling. Then the room filled with my own laughter. I couldn’t believe the school overlooked such a simple mistake. The funniest part? A month after the incident, I searched this again with no one in the room. Guess what wasn’t fixed? Laughing to myself, I shook my head and shut it down. It seemed students weren’t the only procrastinators after all.

About the Author, Story Time

School Storytime: Blindfolded Roller-skating

KC J. Hutchins

When I was a senior in high school, I was lucky enough to play the male lead in our school musical… I heard that. The eye roll of a senior getting the male lead. What a shocker. A fair point I suppose given the general view of high school theater. I can assure you though my director didn’t possess this kind of bias. In previous years, they’d made a sophomore the lead. Anyways, in this musical I received the immense honor of tap dancing (something I’d never done before) and roller-skate blindfolded. The latter was the challenge. Of course, my eyes weren’t truly concealed. I could mostly see the stage… just the edge was the problem. Luckily, I never tipped off it. However… there was one injury which occurred.

So, in the show there is a scene where I must chase my love interest off stage. There were safety measures in place when I darted off. Three people were assigned to catch me as soon as I exited. Here we were practicing the same routine. On this particular day, I was asked to go faster than normal. I checked with the cast/director to make sure safety measures were in place. They assured me everything would be fine. Keeping in mind there were several close calls before I simply shrugged. Scene progresses as normal. Love interest exits and I dart off like a bullet. Through to doorway and I see… nothing. Not a single cast member in sight. You know what I did see? I terrified mini orchestra watching the comedy unfolding in front of them. (Granted they didn’t think that at the time. Genuinely concerned but might as well make a joke out of it) Here I went shoulder first into the wall making me twist into the prop bed… which I swear possessed a wicked sense of humor for the corner of it nailed me in the crotch. All of a sudden, I could hit soprano notes. I promptly keeled over that bed and tried to stop the spinning, pain, and blacking out. The first to get to me was the orchestra. They were quick to find aid and steady me. Next was my choir teacher who saw the whole thing happen from his office which was right next to backstage. He went to get ice packs while my director and my cast mates came behind her. Each made sure I was alright before my director called for all of them to meet onstage. Obviously, I was excused as I was still reeling from the event. I tried to listen in on the meeting… well it was more of a yelling. My director was furious the whole thing occurred. Telling them they were going to rerun the safety measures every time and it was one of the most important jobs they possessed to make the show work. Though maybe I’m remembering it wrong. I honestly was barely with it at the time and I’m pretty sure I took a cat nap. All I knew was afterwards they never forgot to catch me each time. On several occasions my choir teacher joined to catch the speeding me. Can’t blame the cast too much, I think. After all I was one of the taller people in the group. Who wants to try and stop an over 6-foot person whose roller-skating at full speed blindfolded?

About the Author, Story Time

Family Storytime: Rotation

KC J. Hutchins

I’d say I was in upper elementary/middle school when our family decided to go to Niagara Falls for vacation. It was my first time leaving the country, so I was very excited. (Yes, it wasn’t far from the US, but I was a kid.) In I was packed into a van with my parents, grandparents, and my brother. We spent hours in the car… most of the time watching the same particular movie over and over on our little portable DVD player. Oh, it was tempting to throw it out the window once or twice, but sleep was the healthier option. Somehow my family was allowed entry into Canada. Now, I could go on and on about the trip as a whole, but I’d like to focus on one event. See, there’s this tower which overlooks over the city and Niagara Falls. One gets to the top of it by taking an outdoor facing elevator. This allows their customers to enjoy the views while ascending to their destination… unless they’re afraid of heights. It so happened three of the adults in our group possessed this fear. Naturally as the good-natured children my brother and I were, we didn’t dare tease or nudge them towards the window. That would be so mean and rude… did you detect the sarcasm?
Anyways, we arrive to the top to find a somewhat fancy restaurant. The uniqueness of this place was the floor rotated to give the tables a view of the city. Got that? Only the floor moves. A long window wrapped along the outside of the dining room with a small ledge. When you go to sit down, they adamantly say not to lean or put anything on it since it stays stationary. Naturally, they put the kids near the window where we proceeded to forget this detail. An elbow slip there and a squeak here were to be expected. However, my brain forgot these moments and I placed my glasses on the ledge. As a couple of minutes passed, I realized my folly and chased after the spectacles. Apologizing to a very nice table who handed it to me. Daggers were glared at me from the servers who gave the warning. You’d think this would be the cream of the crop for embarrassment, right? Wrong. For you see my brother had to unintentionally top it. While calming down from the incident and enjoying my meal, I gazed out to see the falls. Smiling at how enjoyable it was to myself. It seems my brother shared the same thought. I know this because he was so distracted by the fantastic sights that he ended up on my lap. I giggled at first until I realized he was dragging me with him. Somewhat trapping both of us between the window and the seat. We were only freed when our parents helped. They lifted up my brother so I could pull myself out. I’m pretty sure through all these antics every eye was on us. As an adult, I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave, or my family wasn’t too embarrassed to do so themselves. All I remember was a lot of laughing as we rotated round and round.

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Testing My Stream Tonight! (Feedback Welcomed)

KC J. Hutchins

Hey everyone! Tonight from 9 PM – 1 AM EST (Eastern Standard Time) I’ll be doing my first official live stream for everyone to watch. I’ll warn you ahead of time that I haven’t quite figured everything out yet. So. I’d love it if you dropped by and let me know how it looks and sounds. There’s a sound issue (A mic making weird noise) I’ve noticed off and on for my tests, but not sure if it was just because of my own viewing issue. I’d appreciate any feedback you’d give me. I possess a variety of games to play and decided to do Apex Legends as my first one. I tend to be a bit goofier this one and care less whether I win or lose. Hope you’ll watch. For those unsure what the time zone difference is for your region, twitch translates it if you look at my schedule. (At least it says it does.) Thanks again!

https://www.twitch.tv/kcjhutchins