Tag: cousin

Story Time

Family Storytime: Naked Cheeseburger Boy and Root Beer Snot

KC J. Hutchins

Back in the years of elementary school, my family used to go to fast food more often. You know, back when it was cheaper. To age myself, when there were actually items costing only a dollar. While hanging with my cousin, best friend, maybe my brother, and other childhood friends, my dad offered to take us there. We drive up to the menu and my dad turns back to ask what we want. Completely serious, my best friend asked for a cheeseburger without cheese. We started cracking up.
I say between laughs, “You mean a hamburger?”
My friend looked at me, then my dad, and simply said, “Yes.”
He realized what he’d said and was just trying to smooth it over.

Fast forward to sitting down and eating our stuff. My best friend starts making fun of some of our friend’s meals. I suspect to make his little incident less silly.
My dad shot back, Sure, Naked Cheeseburger Boy.”
We all lost ourselves in laughter… my cousin so much so his root beer came shooting out of his nose.
My dad turned on him and declared, “And Root Beer Snot is here to join you.”
We were all on the ground from the laughter. He gave names to the others, but I don’t remember them. (No, I didn’t get one. I was boring as a kid and only ordered chicken nuggets and French fries.) However, the legend of Naked Cheeseburger Boy and Root Beer Snot live on… the story surfacing every so often to give us a laugh.

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Family Storytime: Cousin’s Crunchy Chicken Tenders

KC J. Hutchins

Hanging around my family during the past holiday gave me another story. This was given to me by my cousin. As I’ve mentioned before, the town I grew up in hosted a midway during the 4th of July. This would include food trucks. So, as we were walking around my cousin became hungry. We joined him in line for the truck. I think we were the second or third in line at the time. He placed his order, and they said it be like a ten-minute wait. Shrugging, we stood by him to receive the food. The time comes and goes… no tenders. We wait another ten minutes… Still nothing. My cousin goes to check in… They say another ten minutes. Almost everyone else in the line received their food, including someone who ordered chicken tenders behind us. We complained about this to the staff who stated it must’ve been a mistake. We shook our heads and tried to reason with my cousin. At this point, we urged him to demand a refund. However, he pointed out we waited this long already. We shrugged and continued talking.

Now, one of my friends possessed a habit of talking with his hands. In the middle of his story the truck finally announces the food is done while saying it was the last order of the night. My cousin picked up the food, turned around, and his food was immediately struck out of his hands. My friend whacked the tenders by accident. He looked at his hands, down at the ground, back at my cousin, and booked it. My cousin just looked at the ground and let out a long sigh. He picked the food up to dispose of in the trash. Before throwing them out, two old men said they’d eat them. My cousin came to the conclusion if they’d eat them… He should eat them. To this day, he calls them the crunchiest chicken tenders he’s ever eaten.

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Streaming Tonight

KC J. Hutchins

Pretty self-explanatory. Stream tonight with my brother and cousin at 6 PM EDT. We think we figured out the chat problem. Please look on twitch to see what time applies to your time zone. Hope to see you there.

https://www.twitch.tv/kcjhutchins

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Video Game Storytime: My Cousin’s Title

KC J. Hutchins

I’d use the previous word epithet, but I recently found the word is considered insulting now compared to the past. So, I’ll be using the word title. For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s the stuff phrase after a name. Think Vlad the Impaler. In my phone, I give this to all my contacts (in good humor). My cousin earned his name while playing a round of Golden Eye. This is a James Bond game in the shooter category. On this round of play, we were at a map called Train. Its layout included a subway-like train cars on top of an incline overlooking various construction work structures. Three of us were playing: my brother, my cousin, and I. Sneaking around, I watched as my brother and cousin squared off.

Shots back and forth until my brother pulls a rocket launcher. My cousin stood in the doorway of the train car as I start to her him panic. I watched as a missile slowly inched across the screen. All the while my cousin simply saying no over and over… while not moving. I swear I could’ve made a sandwich by the time it hit. But nope… my cousin decided to watch it all the way until it hit him square in the face. My brother and I crack up laughing, followed closely by our cousin. Our controllers were put aside as we were rolling on the ground laughing. We asked him in between spurts why didn’t he take cover… He retorted with “I panicked” and “Why didn’t I take cover?!”. When we finally recovered, I discovered his title. From now on… he is known as the RPG Watcher… a title he relishes and smiles when I mention it.