Streaming Fortnite with my cousin tonight (Wednesday) at 6:00 PM EDT. Come stop by and chat a while. We’d love to have you. Thanks for the support!
Tag: laughter
Family Storytime: Naked Cheeseburger Boy and Root Beer Snot
Back in the years of elementary school, my family used to go to fast food more often. You know, back when it was cheaper. To age myself, when there were actually items costing only a dollar. While hanging with my cousin, best friend, maybe my brother, and other childhood friends, my dad offered to take us there. We drive up to the menu and my dad turns back to ask what we want. Completely serious, my best friend asked for a cheeseburger without cheese. We started cracking up.
I say between laughs, “You mean a hamburger?”
My friend looked at me, then my dad, and simply said, “Yes.”
He realized what he’d said and was just trying to smooth it over.
Fast forward to sitting down and eating our stuff. My best friend starts making fun of some of our friend’s meals. I suspect to make his little incident less silly.
My dad shot back, Sure, Naked Cheeseburger Boy.”
We all lost ourselves in laughter… my cousin so much so his root beer came shooting out of his nose.
My dad turned on him and declared, “And Root Beer Snot is here to join you.”
We were all on the ground from the laughter. He gave names to the others, but I don’t remember them. (No, I didn’t get one. I was boring as a kid and only ordered chicken nuggets and French fries.) However, the legend of Naked Cheeseburger Boy and Root Beer Snot live on… the story surfacing every so often to give us a laugh.
Family Storytime: Defending the Pedestal
While growing up, our town would celebrate the 4th of July in grand style. A pancake breakfast, parade, fireworks, and an exciting midway. There were a few inflatable attractions to partake. A basketball dunking contest where we connected to military recruits by bungee cord. After beating one of them, I was offered to a spot to join them which I politely declined. Next was another bungee one. Two people start attached to them with vests and they run as fast/strong as possible to place a beanie at the end of a Velcro track. Now these two were fun, but nothing beat the last one. An inflatable small arena was set up with two pedestal/platforms. Each person received a helmet and a cushioned staff to knock their opponents off.
Now, back then I was quite physically fit and still keeping up with my karate. These two factors made a marathon of others trying to defeat me. To the point where people paid me to rumble with them. Of course, I couldn’t employ the same strategies over and over again… That would be predictable and easy to counter. This led to an epic few matches since I didn’t want them to predict anything. One of my first moments, was a bout where the match wasn’t going anywhere. There needed to be a change to upset the rhythm of the fight. So, I jumped on the other person’s pedestal and pushed them off. They were sooooo annoyed and surprised by the move while trying to get the ref to side with them. However, the rule was just to stay on a pedestal and knock your opponent off. The next one was hilarious. I’d gone a few rounds with the same opponent who was annoyed at how I kept winning. They finally managed to get the staff out of my hand. I smirked at him as he tried to bat me off with a hard swing. The problem was when someone goes for a heavy attack, it was quite easy to counter it. Watching the path, I grabbed the staff on impact and pulled my opponent off the pedestal. They were shocked but gave me a high five for the tactic. At one point, I was getting really tired from the constant matches one after another. So, as they were preparing to steady themselves at the beginning of the bout, I threw the staff and knocked them off because they tried to catch it instead of blocking it. I’m very unsure what their mindset was at that moment. Made me laugh a bit too as I helped them up. However, all of these paled in comparison to my favorite moment in the ring. Her I was facing off with one of my friends. We’d done this a couple times now, and he improved after each one. So much so, he blocked every strike I gave him as I did the same. Finally, I saw an opening as our two strikes met. I slid my hand down his weapon and grabbed one of the handles. In an effort to stay on, he let go of his staff and just looked at me. I gave them a twirl as I readied myself to strike again. However, he looked at me, their hands, back at me, then jumped off the pedestal themselves. I laughed so hard I needed to sit down… Such fun times back in the day. For the record, I was undefeated.
Family Storytime: My Brother’s Title
Those who didn’t read my other story about my cousin’s title might not understand what this means. If you want the explanation, click here (https://kcjhutchins.com/2023/06/13/video-game-storytime-my-cousins-title/). Otherwise, I’m continuing on. So, I grew up playing video games with my younger brother. This, of course, meant we played a lot of co-op games since competitions would occasionally end badly. For those who’ve never played a game with someone, you might find people think very differently from you. For instance, boulders are blocking your path and your thought is to blow them up to clear the path. However, your partner thinks to jump over the rocks instead. When he was a kid, he’d always head straight to the treasure… often at my expense. There would be hordes of enemies after us, but the glitter of gold would pull him away… leaving me with the enemies.
Barely scraping by, I’d annoyingly yell for him to come back… which he’d often respond with, “We need the treasure.”
I’d remind him by saying, “We could grab it afterwards. You know once the enemies aren’t trying to kill us?”
“Oh, I’ll remember next time.” He’d always say.
While I was in high school, we played this dragon game (The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon) where we were linked. Try to pull too far away and you’d pull your partner. Surrounded, my brother went straight for the treasure. I, unable to stand my ground or really fight, soon fainted and this causes us both to lose.
He asks, “What the heck? How did you die?”
Which I responded, “I was a victim of greed.”
He laughed realizing what happened at which I joined in the revelry. However, it gets worse. Since he’d left me to fight on my own so often, I was a considerable high level… while he wasn’t. We ended up playing the stupid siege level sooooo many times due to this little hiccup. But, oh no, this isn’t what gave him his title. After all, this was too soon before the idea came to my head.
Fast forward to around myself starting college. My brother convinced me to play this Zelda game where we fight on a battlefield (I don’t remember the name). At one point in the game, you need to face three boss fighters at once. Now, they are quite far from one another at first… so you could take them down one at a time. I mean the only way they’d come together is if you lured them over. No one in the right mind would do this… right? Can you tell what happened? That’s correct… my brother purposedly lured them over to me as he went to swipe the treasures. An act of betrayal while he laughed and watched me take these down by myself. Which was working… until a boss noticed and rolled after him. The fight was much easier at that point.
When it was all over and done, I turned to him and exclaimed, “You are officially known as the Treasure Seeker, and I will remember that!”
We both were laughing our butts off from the whole thing. To this day, he continues to hunt for the treasure to stay true to his title.
Family Storytime: Rotation
I’d say I was in upper elementary/middle school when our family decided to go to Niagara Falls for vacation. It was my first time leaving the country, so I was very excited. (Yes, it wasn’t far from the US, but I was a kid.) In I was packed into a van with my parents, grandparents, and my brother. We spent hours in the car… most of the time watching the same particular movie over and over on our little portable DVD player. Oh, it was tempting to throw it out the window once or twice, but sleep was the healthier option. Somehow my family was allowed entry into Canada. Now, I could go on and on about the trip as a whole, but I’d like to focus on one event. See, there’s this tower which overlooks over the city and Niagara Falls. One gets to the top of it by taking an outdoor facing elevator. This allows their customers to enjoy the views while ascending to their destination… unless they’re afraid of heights. It so happened three of the adults in our group possessed this fear. Naturally as the good-natured children my brother and I were, we didn’t dare tease or nudge them towards the window. That would be so mean and rude… did you detect the sarcasm?
Anyways, we arrive to the top to find a somewhat fancy restaurant. The uniqueness of this place was the floor rotated to give the tables a view of the city. Got that? Only the floor moves. A long window wrapped along the outside of the dining room with a small ledge. When you go to sit down, they adamantly say not to lean or put anything on it since it stays stationary. Naturally, they put the kids near the window where we proceeded to forget this detail. An elbow slip there and a squeak here were to be expected. However, my brain forgot these moments and I placed my glasses on the ledge. As a couple of minutes passed, I realized my folly and chased after the spectacles. Apologizing to a very nice table who handed it to me. Daggers were glared at me from the servers who gave the warning. You’d think this would be the cream of the crop for embarrassment, right? Wrong. For you see my brother had to unintentionally top it. While calming down from the incident and enjoying my meal, I gazed out to see the falls. Smiling at how enjoyable it was to myself. It seems my brother shared the same thought. I know this because he was so distracted by the fantastic sights that he ended up on my lap. I giggled at first until I realized he was dragging me with him. Somewhat trapping both of us between the window and the seat. We were only freed when our parents helped. They lifted up my brother so I could pull myself out. I’m pretty sure through all these antics every eye was on us. As an adult, I’m surprised we weren’t asked to leave, or my family wasn’t too embarrassed to do so themselves. All I remember was a lot of laughing as we rotated round and round.
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